PhoenixBlog
by DragonCrazy
Summary: Dumbledore decides to make a blog for the whole Order of the Phoenix. (I know I have like 6 unfinished stories, but I got writer's block for all of them. No kidding.) Disclaimer: I don't own HP or any of it's characters. Also, the usernames are the same as the pen names in The Order of the Phoenix's Official Advice Column. (this is for my own enjoyment, won't update regularly)
1. Chapter 1

**DumbledoreNews**

_Posted by **AlbusDumbledore:**_

Harry has gotten in trouble for casting a Patronus. Any ideas to who might've sent the dementors? I'm thinking someone from the Ministry who's with Cornelius, or (less likely, but still possible) a Death Eater.

**Comments:**

**DeathCatcher: **Malfoy.

**AlbusDumbledore: **Hmm... Possibly.

**SeriousSirius: **Still can't believe he was attacked! I wish I had a chance to stretch my legs like that.

**SerpentSnape: **Most unfortunately, you are 'stuck' here.

**SeriousSirius: **Most unfortunately, you are a slimy git.

_[**SerpentSnape **__has signed out.]_

**SeriousSirius: **Ha, sucker.

**Moony: **Er... I don't know.. Malfoy could and would do that, but I don't think it was him...

**SeriousSirius:** Probably was. Ooh! FOOD!

**Moony:**...

* * *

**DumbledoreNews**

_Posted by **AlbusDumbledore**:_

I am picking Order members to pick up Harry tomorrow.

**Comments:**

**SeriousSirius: **AND YOU REFRAINED FROM TELLING US UNTIL NOW?!

**Moony: **Calm down Sirius!

**TransfigurationHater: **HARRY'S COMING! WOO!

**CatLover:** Our financial backer-

**Annoyed: **Were you about to say something, George?

**CatLover: **Er... No? And I'm Fred, not George.

**Frustrated:** OMG Who's going?

**Moony: **He said that he was going tell us tomorrow. Patience, young Tonks.

**Frustrated: **Shut up Moony.

* * *

**DumbledoreNews**

_Posted by **AlbusDumbledore**:_

Pick-Up Team:

Nymphadora Tonks

Remus Lupin

Alastor Moody

You will be going next week. Please meet at Grimmauld Place 12 so that we can discuss our plan.

**Comments:**

**Frustrated:** YAY! I'm going!

**DarkCatcher:** Hope you're up to it, Tonks. OR ARE YOU TONKS?

**Frustrated: **Darn. Forgot Moody's going too.

**DarkCatcher:** WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? AND WE SHOULDN'T WRITE THESE THINGS DOWN!

**Moony: **We suffer together, Tonks.

**Frustrated: **We're coming back via Greenland. For sure.

**Moony: **Might not...

**Frustrated: **Being too optimistic isn't good for your health.

**CatLover: ** I WANNA GO TOO!

**WiseCat: **Be quiet, Weasley.

**CatLover: **You guys are no fun. :(

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted_ _by_** _SeriousSirius_:**

MUTINY! WHO AGREES WITH ME?!

**Comments:**

**CatLover: **AYE!

**TransfigurationHater: **AYE!

**Helen:** Helen doesn't know...

**SeriousSirius: **You are way too clever for your own good.

**Helen: **Why, thank you!

**Moony: **Show him, Helen! (Nice reference, by the way.)

**Helen:** Thanks, Profe- Lupin!

**SeriousSirius:** Hermione and Remus, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

**CatLover: **LOL!

**TransfigurationHater: **LOL times 100!

**Helen: **Shut up, Ron and Fred.

* * *

**HermioneFacts**

_Posted by **Helen**:_

Don't you guys know the story of Helen of Troy?

Well, for the dunderheads who don't (IDIOTS), Helen had a daughter named Hermione.

**Comments:**

**TransfigurationHater: **Whatever.

**Helen:** I'm surprised you even read this, Ron. For those who are interested, see my profile for the full intellectual legend :D

**Moony: **Will do! ;)

**Frustrated: **EWW!

**SeriousSirius: **You lost me at "intellectual".

**Helen: **I hate you all. Not Lupin, obviously.

**DarkCatcher: **MAKE SURE THAT DEATH EATERS CAN'T READ IT!

**Frustrated: ***cough* Paranoid fool *cough*

**UniversalKing****: **My sentiments exactly.

* * *

Quick Comment from your awesome author:

TransfigurationHater: Ron Weasley

Moony: Remus Lupin

SeriousSirius: Sirius Black

Helen: Hermione Granger

Frustrated: Nymphadora Tonks

DarkCatcher: Alastor Moody

UniversalKing: Kingsley Shacklebolt

Annoyed: Molly Weasley

CatLover: Fred Weasley

WiseCat: Minerva McGonagall

BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: Harry Potter

SerpentSnape: Severus Snape

AlbusDumbledore: Albus Dumbledore

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by **BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**_:

snuck on computer. dursleys asleep.

when am I coming to hq? i am sick of dursleys. plz reply!

**Comments:**

**DarkCatcher: **Soon, not telling JUST IN CASE. Anyway, how did you even know we had a blog?

**AlbusDumbledore: **I told him before he left my office, actually. I agree with Moody, you will know when it happens.

**TransfigurationHater: **Sorry, can't help you there. You're not missing anything, mate, all we're doing is cleaning up HQ.

**Helen: **Hang in there, Harry!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **hey everyone. i found an old computer of dudleys thats missing shift and caps lock. and the quote thingy key. please please tell me1 thats an exclamation mark by the way. anyway, are you guys even getting me at all.

**Moony: **Don't worry, we will be getting you. Just be patient.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **hope its soon.

**SeriousSirius: **Hey, Harry! How are you doing?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **annoyed. please please tell me when.

**SeriousSirius: **Sorry, can't. We told you already, there may be Death-Eaters reading this blog.

**TransfigurationHater: **IM?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **sure. wait you know what instant messaging is.

**TransfigurationHater: **Yeah. Dad told me how.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **cool. lets go.

**Helen: **Oh! I want in too!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: ** sure mione. lets go. so, im every night at midnight 12am exact.

**TransfigurationHater: **Fine with me. Lets go now!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **ok lets.

**SeriousSirius: **Might as well be IMing anyway, for all the chatting you're doing. You know, this is actually fun. Takes my mind off of Kreacher.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **yay for sirius1 merlin, i sound like a girl.

**Helen: ** I'm a girl, Harry.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **om sorry

**Helen: **OM?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **oh merlin

**Helen: **Ok. Let's really go now.


	2. Chapter 2

[11:34PM] **Harry: **hi you guys. your owls were so boring no offence.

[11:35PM] **Ron: **Offence taken, but whatever, I know they were too, I wrote them, remember?

[11:36PM] **Harry**: gee ron. didnt know that. im sure hermione would say we ll break you out soon dont worry mate.

[11:37PM] **Hermione**: What he means is that he's not an idiot, Ron.

[11:37PM] **Ron**: What, is it 'Pick on Ron' day?

[_**Sirius**__ joins the conversation._]

[11:38PM] **Sirius**: Hi everyone. It's me, Harry's godfather.

[11:38PM] **Ron**: Hi Sirius.

[11:38PM] **Hermione**: Hi Sirius.

[11:38PM] **Harry**: hi sirius.

[**_Fred _**_joins the conversation._]

[11:39PM] **Fred**: Hi everyone. It's me, Master Prankster.

[11:39Pm] **Ron**: Hi Fred.

[11:39PM] **Hermione**: Hi Fred.

[11:39PM] **Harry**: hi fred.

[11:39PM] **Sirius**: Hi Fred.

[_**Bellatrix **joins the conversation._]

[11:40PM] **Bellatrix**: Hi everyone! It's me, the Crucio Queen.

[11:40PM] **Ron**: AHH!

[_**Ron** has left the conversation_.]

[11:40PM] **Hermione**: AHH!

[_**Hermione** has left the conversation_.]

[11:40PM] **Harry**: ahh1

[_**Harry** has left the conversation_.]

[11:41PM] **Sirius**: LOL.

[11:41PM] **Fred**: Good job, George!

[11:41PM] **Bellatrix**: Thanks. It's a talent of mine.

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by **SeriousSirius**:_

IF YOU'RE SERIOUSLY ADDICTED TO BLOGGING COMMENT! :D :D

**Comments:**

**Frustrated**: Blogging rocks! YAY!

**UniversalKing**: It's ok.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Blogging keeps my mind off of my stupid Muggle relatives. ;D

**TransfigurationHater**: Mum yelled at me for blogging instead of doing my chores. :(

**SeriousSirius**: It's ok, anti-bloggers are like that. But we must stand tall for our rights no matter what. ;)

**TransfigurationHater**: YAY! Oops, back to cleaning...

**CatLover**: Ron, I can't believe I'm saying this, but listen to Mum! I think my eardrums just burst.

**TransfigurationHater**: Aren't you supposed to be doing something too?

**CatLover**: Just finished cleaning.

**QueenTrixie**: Hi everyone!

**TransfigurationHater**: AHH! IT'S HER AGAIN!

[_**TransfigurationHater** has signed out_.]

**SeriousSirius**: LOL times a million!

**CatLover**: I know right?

**QueenTrixie**: LOLOLOLOLOL!

**Annoyed**: FRED! GEORGE! STOP BLOGGING THIS INSTANT AND GET BACK TO WORK!

**CatLover**: Ouch.

**QueenTrixie**: Eep.

[_**CatLover** has signed out_.]

[_**QueenTrixie** has signed out_.]

**SeriousSirius**: ROFL!

* * *

**DumbledoreNews**

_Posted by **AlbusDumbledore**_:

You may now like/dislike a post.

**Likes**: 14

**Dislikes**: 0

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Cool!

**Frustrated**: Yay!

**TransfigurationHater**: Go Professor Dumbledore!

**SerpentSnape**: Hmph.

**Annoyed**: RON! GET OFF THE LAPTOP AND SLEEP!

**TransfigurationHater**: Yes, Mum.

**Annoyed**: NOW!

**CatLover**: It really feels like you're yelling when you use capital letters.

**Annoyed**: YOU TOO FRED!

**CatLover**: Eek!

[_**TransfigurationHater** has signed off_.]

[_**CatLover** has signed off_.]

**QueenTrixie**: LOL.

**Annoyed**: GEORGE WEASLEY! NOW!

[_**QueenTrixie** has signed off_.]

**TransfigurationHater**: Mum, can I just have a quick chat with Harry first?

**Annoyed**: Ten minutes, then sleep! Got it?

**TransfigurationHater**: Ok.

* * *

**Moody's Advice**

_Posted by **DarkCatcher**:_

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

**Likes**:0

**Dislikes**: 32

**Comments**:

_No comments._

* * *

**DumbledoreNews**

_Posted by **AlbusDumbledore**:_

There is now a ranking for 'Most Popular Blogs' and 'Most Viewed Blogs'.

'Most Popular Blogs' will be based on the amount of likes a blog gets, and 'Most Viewed Blogs' will be based on the amount of views.

**Likes**: 22

**Dislikes**: 0

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: WOO!

**Frustrated**: I'm going to go look! :)

**UniversalKing**: Makes blogging all the more fun.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I'm going to look too!

**TransfigurationHater**: LOL did anyone see Moody's blog?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: 32 dislikes... wow...

**CatLover**: That's because everyone thinks that Moody's a paranoid fool..

**QueenTrixie**: Which he is!

**TransfigurationHater**: IT'S BELLATRIX AGAIN!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: run for the hills111

[**TransfigurationHater** has signed off.]

[**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord** has signed off.]

**DarkCatcher**: WHERE? WHERE?

[**QueenTrixie** has signed off.]

**CatLover**: Scared...

[**CatLover** has signed off.]

**SeriousSirius**: Goodbye...

[**SeriousSirius** has signed off.]

**Frustrated**: I'm not staying here with him!

[**Frustrated** has signed off.]

**DarkCatcher**: I'LL GET YOU ONE DAY, BELLATRIX! JUST YOU WAIT!

* * *

**Most Popular Blogs**:

1. Harry's Blog

2. DumbledoreNews

3. Sirius' Comments

**Most Viewed Blogs:**

1. DumbledoreNews

2. Sirius' Comments

3. Harry's Blog

* * *

**Moody's Advice**

_Posted by **DeathCatcher**_:

MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT TALKING TO A DEATH EATER!

**Likes**:0

**Dislikes**:36

**Comments**:

**Frustrated**: Shut up, Moody.

**TransfigurationHater**: 'Most Hated Blog: 1. Moody's NOT SO GOOD Advice'.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by __**SeriousSirius**_:

Since a lot of you love blogging, but just can't find the time to type it all in, here are some acronyms I found!

LOL: Laugh Out Loud

ROFL: Rolling On Floor Laughing

BRB: Be Right Back

BTW: By The Way

FYI: For Your Information

**Likes**:33

**Dislikes**:0

**Comments**:

**Frustrated**: Thanks, Sirius! Now I can work and blog at the same time!

**UniversalKing**: 'Looking' for you used to be a bit boring, but now I can blog a bit too. Thanks!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: now i dont have to worry about getting caught by dursleys that much, the keyboard makes loud clicking noises.

**TransfigurationHater**: Thanks, Sirius!

**SeriousSirius**: You're welcome!

**QueenTrixie**: Thank you, my cousin!

[_**TransfigurationHater** has signed off_.]

[_**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord** has signed off_.]

**SeriousSirius**: Still haven't given't up on that yet?

**QueenTrixie**: What can I say? ROFL! ;D

* * *

**DumbledoreNews**

_Posted by **AlbusDumbledore**_:

You may now follow a post. (Basically, you will get an alert when your followed blog gets a new post.)

**Likes**:30

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:17

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: YAY!

**Frustrated**: Ditto!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: i dont have to waste time looking for blogs anymore1 c; pretend thats a smiley face.

**TransfigurationHater**: I love it!

**Helen**: People are getting a bit addicted to their blogs...

**TransfigurationHater**: Whatever, Mione. Where have you been?

**Helen**: Homework. Bet you still have loads left.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: i finished it all. just need you guys to pick me up from dursleys.

**Helen**: You should really follow Harry's example, Ron.

**TransfigurationHater**: Whatever.

* * *

**Moody's Advice**

_Posted by **DeathCatcher**_:

Since everyone seems to be disregarding my warnings:

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

**Likes**:0

**Dislikes**:42

**Follows**:1

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Who followed Moody?

**QueenTrixie**: What can I say? Hilarious.

**SeriousSirius**: True, true.

**CatLover**: I'm starting a blog, people! ;D

* * *

**FredTipz**

_Posted by **CatLover**_:

Feeling really unhappy? Go to the blog 'Moody's Advice'! It'll really crack you up! (seriously, it's hilarious how many dislikes Moody gets.)

**Likes**:21

**Dislikes**:1

**Follows**:21

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Wise words, my friend, wise words.

**QueenTrixie**: So true!

**CatLover**: Thanks, you guys! So, QueenTrixie, you starting a blog yet?

**QueenTrixie**: Not yet... Wish we could do joint blogs.

**CatLover**: That would be awesome.

**TransfigurationHater**: Who disliked?

**DeathCatcher**: You may laugh at this now, but you'll be sorry when a Death Eater kills you!

**CatLover**: Guess.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: so obvious ron. argh stupid no shift keys.

**Frustrated**: I agree with Sirius. Wise words.

**SeriousSirius**: LOL Moody disliked your post, Fred.

**CatLover**: I'd be more bothered if he liked it.

**SeriousSirius**: True.

* * *

**DumbledoreNews**

_Posted by **AlbusDumbledore**_:

We are picking up Harry tomorrow.

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:32

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: FINALLY!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: after a million years professor. finally.

**TransfigurationHater**: THREE CHEERS FOR PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE!

**Helen**: I must say, I'm overjoyed at the fact that you're finally going to see HQ.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: me too.

**Frustrated**: Well, Remus, let's go to our dooms.

**Moony**: R.I.P. Remus Lupin. Death by cold.

**DeathCatcher**: Wimps.

**UniversalKing**: Poor Remus and Tonks.

**WiseCat**: I must say, I agree.

**TransfigurationHater**: PROFESSOR! You're back!

**WiseCat**: Yes, I am Weasley. I had paperwork to do.

**DragonTamer**: Hey everyone, it's me, Charlie!

**TransfigurationHater**: Hi Charlie!

**Frustrated**: Dumbledore tell you how to get in?

**DragonTamer**: Yup. It's actually pretty entertaining.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: cant wait till tomorrow1111

**DragonTamer**: Yup, entertaining.

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by **BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**:_

cant wait till im at hq1 yay1

**Likes**:41

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:25

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: I can't wait too!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: yay1

**DragonTamer**: Why don't you use the shift keys?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: dudley broke the caps lock and shift keys.

**DragonTamer**: Not even asking how he did that.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Smart man.

**DragonTamer**: That's me!

**TransfigurationHater**: I don't know, Charlie, anyone who willingly goes within a mile of a dragon doesn't seem too smart to me.

[_**DragonTamer** has signed out_.]

* * *

**MorphingBlog**

_Posted by **Frustrated**:_

For the full, detailed story of Harry's rescue, go to my profile (feel too tired to type it all here again).

**Likes**:50

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:42

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: You know you can just use copy&paste, right?

**Frustrated**: Darn, I didn't know that. Oh well. Good night everyone.

**UniversalKing**: WAIT!

**Frustrated**: yeah?

**UniversalKing**: Did Moody make you go via Greenland?

**Frustrated**: He tried.

**UniversalKing**: ... Tried?

**SeriousSirius**: ... Tried?

**TransfigurationHater**: Hi every- NO WAY! HARRY! TELL ME THE TRUTH!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Tonks told the truth. We didn't go anywhere near Greenland.

**TransfigurationHater**: Did he make you double back in case of Death Eaters?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Tonks my Hero managed to stop Moody from making us double back.

**TransfigurationHater**: OMG!

**Moony**: Tonks is my hero too. We had to do the trip twice.. Tonks stopped Moody then too.

**TransfigurationHater**: M, the Aurors should use a Permanent Sticking charm to stick Tonks to Moody.

**Frustrated**: If any of you try that, you will all be hexed into oblivion and beyond. Painfully.

* * *

**Sirius'** **Comments**

_Posted by **SeriousSirius**_:

A lot of you have made up your own acronyms. Here are a few I came up with/read from other people:

OM: Oh Merlin

MP: Merlin's Pants

M: Merlin

LV: Lord Voldyshorts (not sure if he wears shorts, but oh well.)

YKW: You-Know-Who (admit it, you'd get finger cramps from typing You-Know-Who all day long.)

Also very useful:

TMI: Too Much Information

**Likes**:50

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:50

**Comments**:

**CatLover**: Voldyshorts... ROFL!

**TransfigurationHater**: ROFL too!

**UniversalKing**: Would be ROFLing if I wasn't at work! (it'd look weird if I was rolling on the floor laughing.)

**Frustrated**: LOL I think you got half of those likes because of 'Voldyshorts'!

**AlbusDumbledore**: I am very pleased to see that the blog is raising everyone's spirits and giving them hope in these dark times.

**Frustrated**: Whatev.

**SeriousSirius**: Why is Harry yelling?

* * *

**Moody's Advice**

_Posted by **DeathCatcher**_:

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

**Likes**:0

**Dislikes**:50

**Follows**:3

**Comments**:

**CatLover**: Who followed too?

**SeriousSirius**: I did. It's so funny.

**QueenTrixie**: Yup. Following too.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know that in real blogs, when a person signs out, it usually doesn't tell you that the person signed out, but let's pretend that Dumbledore didn't know that when he made PhoenixBlog.**

* * *

**Harry's** **Blog**

_Posted by **BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**:_

Today, I found out that Hermione and Ginny called Fleur 'Phlegm'.

**Likes**:21

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:6

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: They call her mucus that's somehow gotten into your lungs/mouth? Ew.

**Frustrated**: I can see Ginny saying that, but Hermione?

**SeriousSirius**: Actually, aren't blogs supposed to be online diaries?

**Frustrated**: The way we're using it, it's more like a bunch of random comments that people comment on.

**SeriousSirius**: LOL.

**SeriousSirius**: You know, I think Harry's the only one who's close to using his blog the way it was intended to be.

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by **SeriousSirius**:_

Anyone else notice that most of our blogs aren't that blog-like?

**Likes**:21

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:12

**Comments**:

**Frustrated**: I actually looked it up (look for my blog for the meanings of various online phrases), and I found out that 'blog' is a shorter version of 'web log'. Also, the definition of 'blog' is 'an online diary'.

**TransfigurationHater**: Muggle Definition: Online diary. Wizard Definition: A place to rant/prank/get revenge/spout out random comments/yell at other (innocent) people.

**Annoyed**: Ronald Weasley, aren't you SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING?!

**TransfigurationHater**: ...

**Annoyed**: GET OFF YOUR LAPTOP NOW!

**TransfigurationHater**: Ok, Ok, I'm going.

[_**TransfigurationHater** has signed out_.]

* * *

**McGonagallReminders**

_Posted by **WiseCat**:_

Remember to do your homework! Also, for all of the soon-to-be fifth years, this year is O.W.L. year! For all of you soon-to-be seventh years (FRED AND GEORGE), this is your N.E.W.T. year, so remember to study hard!

**Likes**:1

**Dislikes**:43

**Follows**:1

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: M, O.W.L. year.. What a nightmare.

**CatLover**: I hated O.W.L. year.

**TransfigurationHater**: Thanks a lot for reminding me, Professor. I needed that. Now to go and study until I die from old age.

**WiseCat**: I don't think that's necessary, but whatever you want.

**Helen**: Thank you for the friendly reminder, Professor! Following and liking :).

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Please say that you're being sarcastic, Hermione.

**Helen**: I am perfectly serious, Harry.

**WiseCat**: If you are going to chat, go to the Phoenix Chat Room. Otherwise, please just comment on the blog.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: To the Chat Room we go!

* * *

**Phoenix Chat Room**

[8:21PM] **Harry**: I almost forgot about O.W.L. year in my euphoria!

[8:21PM] **Hermione**: It's O.W.L. year whether you like it or not, Harry.

[_**Fred** has joined the conversation_.]

[8:22PM] **Fred**: O.W.L. year. Like Sirius said, what a nightmare..

[_**Ron** has joined the conversation_.]

[8:22PM] **Ron**: Sorry I'm late. I had to finish cleaning up one of the endless rooms of Grimmauld Place 12 before the Red-Haired Monster would let me on.

[8:22PM] **Fred**: I only feel pity for you.

[8:23PM] **Ron**: I know, I know. Ugh, can't believe McGonagall ruined our good mood.

[8:23PM] **Hermione**: Professor McGonagall, Ron.

[8:23PM] **Ron**: Hmph.

[8:24PM] **Fred**: If you think O.W.L. year is going to be bad, think about George and I. We're taking our N.E.W.T.s!

[8:24PM] **Ron**: If you do as badly on your N.E.W.T.s as you did on your O.W.L.s, Mum is going to murder you.

[8:24PM] **Fred**: Crucio, then Avada Kedavra. She has no mercy.

[_**Bellatrix** has joined the conversation_.]

[8:25PM] **Bellatrix**: Did someone say CRUCIO?

[8:25PM] **Ron**: NOT AGAIN!

[_**Ron** has left the conversation_.]

[_**Harry** has left the conversation._]

[_**Hermione** has left the conversation._]

[8:25PM] **Bellatrix**: Never gets old.

[8:25PM] **Fred**: Try Voldy next.

[8:25PM] **Bellatrix**: Imagine their expressions when Lord Voldemort joins the conversation.

[8:25PM] **Fred**: ROFL!

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by **BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**:_

OM OM OM! MY TRIAL IS TOMORROW! OM OM OM!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 32

**Follows**:8

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Why would someone even give you a trial for using magic to save your life? Disliking the trial, not your blog, Harry.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Since the only blogs that are disliked are Moody's and McGonagall's, I'm guessing that's what everyone else did.

**SeriousSirius**: In everyone's defense, it's hard to like their blogs.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: True.

**SeriousSirius**: Speaking of Moody's blog, he has more 'advice'.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: LOL, going to go check.

* * *

**Moody's Advice**

_Posted by **DeathCatcher**:_

REMEMBER! CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

**Likes**:0

**Dislikes**:50

**Follows**: 3

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: ROFL!

**CatLover**: Took the words right out of my keyboard. By any chance, were you the one who followed Moody?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Yup.

**CatLover**: Thought so.

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by **BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**_:

I can't sleep! I'm too nervous.

**Likes**: 2

**Dislikes**: 21

**Follows**: 8

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Disliked cuz of a stupid Ministry that won't let my godson get his handsome sleep.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Handsome sleep?

**SeriousSirius**: Men are handsome, not beautiful.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Oh, I get it. Ok. Good night.

**SeriousSirius**: Good night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**_:

Trial today. Very nervous, Gonna die. Fudge will bake me into a pie. Potter Pie.

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 47

**Follows**: 32

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: If you die, Fudge dies.

**Helen**: I'm sure Fudge won't… bake you into a pie.

**TransfigurationHater**: Potter Pie sounds tasty.

**Helen**: RON!

**TransfigurationHater**: What? I'm hungry!

**DeathCatcher**: PLANNING TO EAT YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND, ARE YOU?! OR ARE YOU RONALD?

[_**TransfigurationHater**__ has signed out_.]

**DeathCatcher**: I'LL GET YOU SOMEDAY, BELLATRIX!

**CatLover**: This guy has issues.

**QueenTrixie**: Agreed.

**DeathCatcher**: AHA!

[_**QueenTrixie**__ has signed out_.]

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by __**SeriousSirius**_:

I feel nervous. Anyone else with me?

**Likes**:0

**Dislikes**:1

**Follows**:32

**Comments**:

**CatLover**: It seemed wrong to dislike such a popular blog.

**QueenTrixie**: Wonder who disliked?

**TransfigurationHater**: No idea. I'm not psychic!

**QueenTrixie**: No one asked you.

**TransfigurationHater**: Actually, you did.

**QueenTrixie**: Hmph. E-CRUCIO!

**TransfigurationHater**: AHH! JUST FORGOT THAT TRIXIE IS BELLATRIX!

[_**TransfigurationHater**__ has signed out_.]

**SeriousSirius**: One of these days, the Trio will find out who you really are and hunt you down.

**QueenTrixie**: Eh.

* * *

**Harry's** **Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**_:

Posting on a Ministry PC.

OMG I WON THE TRIAL!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**:34

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Knew you could do it! You're Prongs' son!

**SerpentSnape**: I fail to see how that would affect the outcome of Potter's trial.

**SeriousSirius**: James is awesome, you are not.

**SerpentSnape**: Potter is dead. So was, not is.

**SeriousSirius**: No, he's still awesome, even when he's dead.

[_**SerpentSnape**_ _has_ _signed_ _out_.]

**Helen**: Congrats, Harry!

**TransfigurationHater**: Knew you could do it!

**CatLover**: WOO!

**QueenTrixie**: HE GOT OUT! HE GOT OUT!

**Gin**: HE GOT OUT!

**CatLover**: HE GOT OUT!

**Annoyed**: SHUT UP, YOU THREE!

**CatLover**: Hey, Ginny! Gin? Really?

**Gin**: Better than CatLover.

**CatLover**: Hey, McGonagall secretly likes me! I'm sure of it!

**SeriousSirius**: Unfortunately, I already stole her heart, so HA!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I'm home/at HQ!

[_**SeriousSirius**_ _has_ _signed_ _out_.]

[_**QueenTrixie**_ _has_ _signed_ _out_.]

[**Gin** _has_ _signed_ _out_.]

[_**CatLover**_ _has_ _signed_ _out_.]

[_**Helen**__ has signed out_.]

[_**Annoyed**__ has signed out_.]

[_**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__ has signed out_.]

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

I was tried by Wizenmagot. Do any of you know an old woman who looks like a toad?

**Likes**: 49

**Dislike**: 1

**Follows**:45

**Comments**:

**Moony**: She sounds like Dolores Umbridge…

**SeriousSirius**: Come off it, Remus.

**Moony**: That woman is evil.

**SeriousSirius**: I completely agree, but let's not put a damper on everyone's euphoria.

**Moony**:… Fine.

* * *

**Phoenix Private Chat Room for Order Members**

[1:12AM] **Remus**: Why are you so down, Sirius?

[1:12AM] **Sirius**:…

[1:12AM] **Remus**: Were you hoping that Harry would lose the trial and come live with you, perhaps?

[1:12AM] **Sirius**:…

[1:13AM] **Remus**: Stop sulking, Padfoot. Harry won and will go back to Hogwarts. Though, if the rumors are correct… Hogwarts might not be such a great place to be in.

[1:13AM] **Sirius**: You're right. And I hope that the rumors aren't true.

[1:13AM] **Remus**: Me too, Sirius, me too.

* * *

**DumbledoreNews**

_Posted by __**AlbusDumbledore**__:_

A lot of you students have been asking whether they can blog at school. The answer is yes, but it must be a secret. I will enchant your dorms temporarily so that your laptops will work.

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 45

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: WOO!

**TransfigurationHater**: YAY!

**Helen**: I'm so pleased!

**CatLover**: YEAH!

**QueenTrixie**: YEAH!

**Gin**: WOO HOO! BLOGGING AT HOGWARTS!

**SeriousSirius**: Keep in touch, Harry!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Will do!

**TransfigurationHater**: Wait, laptops don't work at Hogwarts?

**Helen**: Oh Ron… Magic interferes with the laptop's electricity.

**TransfigurationHater**: … What's electricity?

**Helen**: Take Muggle Studies.

**TransfigurationHater**: What for?

**WiseCat**: Even with the privilege of blogging available, you MUST STILL STUDY HARD!

**QueenTrixie**: Party pooper.

**QueenTrixie**: E-CRUCIO! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

**DeathCatcher**: BELLATRIX!

[_**QueenTrixie** has signed out_.]

**DeathCatcher**: Darn.

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

Going to Hogwarts tomorrow! Wish me luck!

**Likes**: 49

**Dislikes**: 1

**Follows**: 31

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Hmph.

**Moony**: Don't listen to him, Harry, he's just a bit grumpy he can't go too.

**SeriousSirius**: That's it, I'm going as Padfoot, nothing you can do to stop me.

**Moony**: SIRIUS! NO!

**SeriousSirius**: I'm going whether you like it or not, Moony!

**Annoyed**: Sirius…

**SeriousSirius**: …

**Annoyed**: Fine. This once only.

**SeriousSirius**: YAY!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: YAY!

**Moony**: Mentality of a three-year old, I tell you.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: HOGWARTS!

**Moony**: Make that two.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: For those of you who are really confused, Moody is DarkCatcher and DeathCatcher, I just got them confused for Chapter 4 and 5..**

* * *

**Most Popular Blogs**

1. Sirius' Comments

2. DumbledoreNews

3. Harry's Blog

**Most Viewed Blogs**

1. Harry's Blog

2. Moody's Advice

3. Sirius' Comments

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

HOGGY IS AWESOME! Also, I think Lucius Malfoy saw you, Sirius :(!

**Likes**:50

**Dislikes**:31

**Follows**:42

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: STUPID PETTIGREW!

**AlbusDumbledore**: A warning to you, Sirius.

**SeriousSirius**: Hmph.

**Helen**: Professor Dumbledore is right, Sirius!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Hi Hermione! Chat with Ron and I?

**Helen**: Sure!

* * *

**Phoenix Chat Room**

[10:32PM] **Harry**: Seamus doesn't believe me...

[10:32PM] **Hermione**: It's OK, Harry. They'll come along... Eventually.

[_**Ron** _has joined the conversation.]

[10:32PM] **Ron**: I hate the 'Daily Prophet'.

[10:32PM] **Hermione**: We need to get some sleep, this is our O.W.L. year after all. Good night!

[**_Hermione_** has left the conversation.]

[10:33PM] **Ron**: She's right, night, Harry!

[_**Ron** has left the conversation._]

[_**Harry**_ _has left the conversation._]

* * *

**GinPlace**

_Posted by **Gin**:_

I will be posting my work on my blog ;)!

**Likes**:12

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:31

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Like a story? OK, following!

**Gin**: Thanks, Sirius!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Following too!

**Gin**: Posting my first chapter tomorrow, stay tuned!

* * *

**GinPlace**

_Posted by **Gin**:_

Fluffy Baker

Chapter One:

Once upon a time, three fluffy unicorns lived in the hills. But one day, the fluffy unicorn family was killed by the Dark Bunny. The baby fluffy unicorn was left with a lightning-shaped scar, and temporarily defeated the Dark Bunny, who was called Lord Fuzzamort.

The baby fluffy unicorn was raised by his unloving relatives, the fat pigs.

The baby fluffy unicorn, whose name was Fluffy Baker, didn't know of his amazing skills until a giant pumpkin named Bansheegrid came to fetch him and send him to a magical school called Pigspots.

Stay tuned to find out what happens next!

**Likes**: 49

**Dislikes**: 1

**Follows**:49

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: ROFL!

**CatLover**: Totally agree with you, Sirius!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Did you just call me a 'fluffy unicorn'? DISLIKE!

**TransfigurationHater**: LOL!

**Helen**: Nice story, Gin.

**QueenTrixie**: ROFL times 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000!

**Frustrated**: So funny!

**UniversalKing**: I think I'm going to die from trying not to laugh...

* * *

**MoonSpot**

_Posted by **Moony**:_

Who's your new DADA teacher?

**Likes**:

**Dislikes**:

**Follows**:

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Umb****. I mean, UMBRIDGE. The evil hag.

**Moony**: NOOO!

**SeriousSirius**: NOO!

**WiseCat**: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!

**Helen**: THE EVIL HAG!

**TransfigurationHater**: I HATE HER!

**TransfigurationHater**: Going to change my username, just a second.

**UmbridgeHater**: There!

**WiseCat**: I approve! Twenty points to Gryffindor!

**UmbridgeHater**: Thanks, Professor!

**WiseCat**: You know, the teachers would love a place to rant about Umbridge. Could any of you make a blog for us?

**AlbusDumbledore**: ... I wish you would all just accept her. But if the alternative is lashing out and getting sent to Azkaban for murder... Alright.

**WiseCat**: YES!

**UmbridgeHater**: Professor McGonagall has lost it.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Agreed.

**AlbusDumbledore**: I'll send you an owl on how to get on to your new chat room.

* * *

**The Teacher's Chat Room**

[10:21PM] **WiseCat**: POMONA! Anyone here?

[**_HerbBadger _**_has entered the conversation_.]

[_**CharmingEagle** has entered the conversation_.]

[10:22PM]** WiseCat**: Excellent!

[10:22PM] **HerbBadger**: Minerva, were you SERIOUS? We can REALLY rant about Umbridge here without risk of getting tossed to Azkaban?

[10:22PM] **WiseCat**: YES!

[10:23PM] **CharmingEagle**: THREE CHEERS FOR ALBUS!

[_**SerpentSnape** has entered the conversation._]

[10:23PM] **WiseCat**: I thought you didn't like Muggle technology, Severus.

[10:23PM] **SerpentSnape**: Anything that lets me rant about Umbridge is good in my eyes.

[10:24PM] **CharmingEagle**: What about ranting about Potter?

[10:24PM] **SerpentSnape**: Not really. Potter is arrogant and stupid, but he can't do me actual harm, unlike Umbi-ridge.

[10:24PM] **HerbBadger**: Were you going to call Umbridge something else?

[10:24PM] **WiseCat**: Something like a cuss word?

[10:25PM] **SerpentSnape**: Maybe..

[10:25PM] **CharmingEagle**: I approve, Severus!

[10:25PM] **HerbBadger**: Aye!

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by **SeriousSirius**:_

Hogwarts is officially on an unlucky streak.

**Likes**: 43

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 25

**Comments**:

**Moony**: AGREE AGREE AGREE!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Lupin's lost it too.

**UmbridgeHater**: He is soo right.

**Helen**: Can't believe I'm saying this about a teacher, but I think Lupin's right too.

**SeriousSirius**: For the first time, I'm actually glad I'm not at Hogwarts.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: No offence, Sirius, but for the first time, I wish I were you.

**SeriousSirius**: No offence taken. I wouldn't want to be a wanted person who was stuck in the place they hate most.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Agreed.

**CatLover**: Hogwarts sucks.

**QueenTrixie**: Yup.

**Gin**: For those of you who are in serious depression, Moody has more advice.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: LOL, thanks Ginny, going now.

**SeriousSirius**: Depressed out, funny in.

**Frustrated**: Never knew that one day, people would actually be thankful for Moody's paranoia.

**SeriousSirius**: People are too busy complaining about it to be thankful.

**Frustrated**: True.

* * *

**Moody's Advice**

_Posted by **DarkCatcher**:_

Since people actually seem to be looking and listening, I have new advice for you.

MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU AREN'T DEATH EATERS!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 48

**Follows**: 48

**Comments**:

**Frustrated**: Wow. 48 follows.

**SeriousSirius**: We want to be alerted in case of more 'advice'.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Let's see... Prime Death Eater suspects... Umbridge, Umbridge, and Umbridge!

**UmbridgeHater**: You are absolutely right, mate..

**CatLover**: LOL!

**QueenTrixie**: Thanks, Moody!

* * *

**DumbledoreNews**

_Posted by **AlbusDumbledore**:_

A lot of people have been asking if they could 'keep an eye on Umbridge just in case.'

To quash a strong rumor, I must tell you all that Umbridge is not and has never been a Death Eater.

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 50

**Follows**:0

**Comments**:

**DarkCatcher**: NEVER HURTS TO BE CAREFUL!

**Frustrated**: I agree.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Me too.

**SeriousSirius**: The world has flipped over... People are agreeing with Moody... Who's actually right for once.

**CatLover**: No one likes news like this, Dumbledore!

**QueenTrixie**: Dislike! Dislike!

**UmbridgeHater**: She's definitely evil enough to be one.

**Moony**: The world isn't black and white, or divided into good and Death Eaters.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: You're right, Remus. It's divided into good, Death Eaters, and Voldemort. Don't forget Lord Voldyshorts.

**Moony**: Hopeless, you all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Most Popular Blogs**

Sirius' Comments

Harry's Blog

MorphingNews

**Most Viewed Blogs**

Harry's Blog

Moody's Advice

Sirius' Comments

* * *

**MorphingNews**

_Posted by **Frustrated**:_

It's getting harder and harder to stay undercover.. Stupid Fudge!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 43

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: True, true!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Show them, Tonks!

**Helen**: Fudge is getting a bit annoying…

**UmbridgeHater**: Anyone Umbridge likes is bad. Period. Besides, I already knew that.

**Frustrated**: YAY my blog's one of the Top Three most popular!

**SeriousSirius**: Saw already, I spend all of my time blogging nowadays. (I also feed Buckbeak and sleep at about 1AM, of course. If I'm not here, I'm sleeping or feeding Buckbeak.)

**Helen**: You forgot eating.

**SeriousSirius**: I blog while eating.

**QueenTrixie**: Are you an Inferi?

**SeriousSirius**: …No, why do you ask?

**QueenTrixie**: Because my Mum would kill you if you did that.

**CatLover**: We are not joking. She really would.

**SeriousSirius**: I figured that out for myself, I eat upstairs now.

**CatLover**: Oh, OK. Was worried for a moment.

**QueenTrixie**: Make sure she doesn't see this.

**SeriousSirius**: Oh darn, going to delete comment.

**QueenTrixie**: Me too.

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

I hate Umbridge. And Fudge.

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:43

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Like.

**CatLover**: Me like anything with the phrase 'I hate Umbridge' in it.

**QueenTrixie**: Me agree.

**SeriousSirius**: LOL your blog is the most popular out of all of us, Harry.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: ROFL all you have to say is 'I hate Fudge and Umbridge.'

**SeriousSirius**: We are in a site devoted to anti-evil.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: True.

* * *

**Umbridge is Fat&Stupid Room**

[11:31PM] **WiseCat**: I figured out how to change the chat room's name!

[11:31PM] **SerpentSnape**: I see.

[11:31PM] **CharmingEagle**: Loving it.

[11:32PM] **HerbBadger**: So am I.

[11:32PM] **WiseCat**: Maybe we should make one for the students, it would take some stress out of them.

[11:33PM] **CharmingEagle**: That's actually a good idea!

[11:33PM] **WiseCat**: Are you implying something, Filius?

[11:33PM] **CharmingEagle**: Take it however you want.

[11:34PM] **WiseCat**: Ignoring that.

[11:34PM] **SerpentSnape**: And they say that Slytherins and Hufflepuffs are cowards.

[11:34PM] **HerbBadger**: People who stereotype our Houses like that have obviously never met Minerva.

[11:35PM] **WiseCat**: I thought this was supposed to a chat room devoted to ragging on Umbridge!

[11:35PM] **CharmingEagle**: We decided that we needed more variety.

[11:35PM] **WiseCat**: Potions have no meaning. Only idiots bother with them.

[11:36PM] **SerpentSnape**: Your House will be punished for that sentence.

[11:36PM] **WiseCat**: *whistles innocently* I'm a teacher too…

* * *

**GinPlace**

_Posted by __**Gin**__:_

Fluffy Baker

Chapter Two:

Fluffy Baker went to Symmetrical Alley with Bansheegrid. He got a pet flying fish to deliver messages. He named her Footcap.

When Fluffy Baker got to the Train Station where Platform 9 ¾, he got so confused that he had to ask the amazing Polecat family for help.

Their youngest and most beautiful and handsome (Angel) immediately fell in love with Fluffy, but was too shy to tell him about her feelings.

The twins, Ugly and Warty helped Fluffy to the Train, and Fluffy met his future best friend, Nuts, and became friends with him.

STAY TUNED!

**Likes**: 47

**Dislikes**: 3

**Follows**: 47

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: LOL! No, ROFL!

**Frustrated**: M, I'm trying not to laugh so hard I think I broke a bone.

**UniversalKing**: I'm trying not to laugh so hard I think my stomach is permanently damaged.

**CatLover**: OMG this is not funny anymore. DISLIKE!

**QueenTrixie**: I AGREE! DISLIKE!

**UmbridgeHater**: I AGREE ALSO! DISLIKE!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I tried to tell you…

**Gin**: Whatever, Ugly, Warty, Nuts, and Fluffy.

**SeriousSirius**: I don't care that I'm a wanted prisoner, I need to go to St. Mungos, I think I broke all of my ribs laughing.

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by __**SeriousSirius**__:_

Like if you agree that Gin is one of the best authors in the world!

**Likes**: 46

**Dislikes**: 4

**Follows**: 42

**Comments**:

**CatLover**: ARGH McGonagall called me 'Ugly' in class!

**QueenTrixie**: When she gave me my detention, she called me Warty!

**UmbridgeHater**: NOT funny people!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Sorry, Ginny, but when a male is called 'Fluffy', there is no forgiving the insult to his masculinity.

**Gin**: What masculinity?

**SeriousSirius**: CARL!

**Frustrated**: Who's Carl?

**SeriousSirius**: CARL means Cracked A Rib Laughing. I thought that ROFL and LOL were a bit overused.

**Frustrated**: I agree.

**SeriousSirius**: Just got an alert! Moody has more advice!

**Frustrated**: LOL this is a funny day.

* * *

**Moody's Advice**

_Posted by __**DarkCatcher**__:_

AUTHORITIES ARE TARGETED THE MOST! TALKING TO YOU, HIGH RANKING IN MINISTRY/PREFECT/HEAD BOYS/GIRL!

**Like**:0

**Dislike**:50

**Follow**:50

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Hee hee..

**UmbridgeHater**: So comforting to a Prefect, love knowing that I'm being targeted by YKW.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I already know I'm being targeted, LOL.

**SeriousSirius**: Yes, usually people who 'annoyed Dark Lord' are targeted.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: CARL!

**Helen**: This is serious, you two! And Harry, you're way behind homework, you're in no position to be blogging! You too, Ron!

**UmbridgeHater**: Party pooper.

**Helen**: Now!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Ugh, homework.

**UmbridgeHater**: Just a mountain-sized pile to go.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Yay.

**Helen**: Harry! Ronald!

[_**UmbridgeHater**_ _has_ _signed_ _out_.]

[_**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**_ _has_ _signed_ _out_.]


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**

**List of blogs:**

**Harry Potter- Harry's Blog**

**Alastor Moody- Moody's Advice**

**Sirius Black- Sirius' Comments**

**Nymphadora Tonks- MorphingNews**

**Albus Dumbledore- DumbledoreNews**

**Fred Weasley- FredTipz**

**Ginny Weasley- GinPlace**

**Minerva McGonagall- McGonagallReminder**

**Remus Lupin- MoonSpot**

**Hermione Granger- HermioneFacts**

**Ron Weasley- RonaldPost**

* * *

**List of bloggers:**

**Harry Potter- BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**

**Alastor Moody- DarkCatcher**

**Sirius Black: SeriousSirius**

**Nymphadora Tonks- Frustrated**

**Albus Dumbledore- AlbusDumbledore**

**Fred Weasley- CatLover**

**George Weasley- QueenTrixie**

**Molly Weasley- Annoyed**

**Ron Weasley- Transfiguration/UmbridgeHater**

**Hermione Granger- Helen**

**Remus Lupin- Moony**

**Minerva McGonagall- WiseCat**

**Severus Snape- SerpentSnape**

**Kingsley Shacklebolt- UniversalKing**

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by __**SeriousSirius**__:_

Updated list of acronyms:

OMG: Oh my gosh/god

LOL: Laugh Out Loud

ROFL: Rolling On Floor Laughing

CARL: Cracked A Rib Laughing

LV: Lord Voldyshorts

YKW: You Know Who

BRB: Be Right Back

TMI: Too Much Information

TY: Thank You

YW: You're Welcome

ILC: I Like Cookies

ILSB: I Love Sirius Black

MP: Merlin's Pants

M: Merlin

OM: Oh Merlin

**Likes**: 46

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 32

**Comments**:

**Frustrated: **When would we ever need ILSB?

**SeriousSirius**: Hey!

**CatLover**: I'm a guy. Why would I even want to use ILSB?

**QueenTrixie**: ILC!

**UniversalKing**: More time for blogging, I guess.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: ILSB (not romantically!)

**SeriousSirius**: Aw, TY! :D

**Gin**: *vomit*

* * *

**RonaldPost**

_Posted by __**UmbridgeHater**__:_

Percy the Evil Git sent me a letter.

**Likes**: 31

**Dislikes**: 1

**Follows**: 23

**Comments**:

**Annoyed**: Your brother isn't an 'evil git', Ronald!

**CatLover**: Could you owl the letter to us?

**QueenTrixie**: Yeah, I'm curious.

**UmbridgeHater**: I burned it. BURN!

**CatLover**: Three cheers for Ron!

**QueenTrixie**: YAY!

**Gin**: Show him, Ron!

**Annoyed**: You three aren't helping!

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

Umbridge is an EVIL, FOUL, TOADY!

Actually, scratch the last part, it's a GIANT insult to toads. I'M SO SORRY TOADS!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 47

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: OMG So true!

**UmbridgeHater**: Umbridge looks like a toad.

**CatLover**: So true!

**WiseCat**: We have made a blog dedicated to Umbridge-Haters. The four Hogwarts ghosts will tell people who they deem trustworthy how to find the site.

**UmbridgeHater**: Go Professor!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I got an invite from Nick! :D

**SeriousSirius**: Wish I could go on…

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: It's ok, Sirius, I'll tell you all the highlights, copied&pasted!

**SeriousSirius**: TY!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: YW!

**WiseCat**: We have a chat room for a reason…

**SeriousSirius**: Eh.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: This is like a mini-chat room anyway.

* * *

**HermioneFacts**

_Posted by __**Helen**__:_

Did you know that werewolves prefer dark chocolate over milk?

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 0

**Comments**:

**Moony**: I sort of knew that..

**CatLover**: Don't know whether to like or dislike…

**SeriousSirius**: … This would've been more useful twenty years ago.

**Moony**: You know I hate milk chocolate, Sirius!

**SeriousSirius**: I will never do that again.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Aw, now I'm curious!

**SeriousSirius**: Don't be.

**Moony**: It involves your father, Wormtail, and Sirius getting beaten up.

**SeriousSirius**: My backside hurts just from thinking about it…

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: CARL.

* * *

**Most Popular Blogs:**

1. Harry's Blog

2. Sirius' Comments

3. GinPlace

**Most Viewed Blogs:**

1. GinPlace

2. Moody's Advice

3. Sirius' Comments

* * *

**McGonagallReminders**

_Posted by __**WiseCat**__:_

NOOOO! UMBRIDGE NOW HAS THE POWER TO INSPECT/KICK OUT ALL THE TEACHERS!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 50

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: NOOOOOOOOOO!

**UmbridgeHater**: That's what Percy meant by "I feel bound to tell you that Dumbledore may not be in charge at Hogwarts much longer"!

**CatLover**: MP Percy said that?!

**QueenTrixie**: Evil. Fat. Face. Both of them!

**SeriousSirius**: NOOO!

**Moony**: THAT EVIL LIVING THING IS GOING TO BE IN CHARGE OF HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN?!

**Helen**: This is seriously bad! At this rate, Voldemort is going to kill us all easily!

**UmbridgeHater**: I'm going to change my user again…

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Done.

**WiseCat**: I approve and agree, Weasley. Twenty points to Gryffindor!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Thanks, Professor!

**Frustrated**: PLEASE SAY THAT YOU'RE ALL JOKING!

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by __**SeriousSirius**__:_

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

UMBRIDGE IS GOING TO RULE HOGWARTS, THE FAT BUCKET-HEAD!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 42

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I HATE UMBRIDGE!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: I AGREE!

**Helen**: Oh really… Harry, meet me at the Gryffindor common room right now.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: If this is about spew…

**Helen**: S.P.E.W., not spew! And it's not.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Ugh, fine.

[_**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**_ _has_ _signed_ _out_.]

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Do I have to go too?

**Helen**: Yes…

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Ugh.

[_**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**_ _has_ _signed_ _out_.]

[_**Helen**_ _has_ _signed_ _out_.]

* * *

**Harry's Blog [**_**PRIVATE **__**MODE**_**]**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

Hermione and Ron are insane.

They want me to teach a DADA group, for crying out loud!

On the completely unrelated subject, the Disarming charm would be a nice place to start.

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 0

**Comments**:

_No comments._


	9. Chapter 9

**UmbridgeLoathers Chat Room**

[11:12PM] **Longbutt**: The teachers are awesome!

[11:12PM] **Helen**: I HATE UMBRIDGE THE FOUL CREATURE!

[11:13PM] **Longbutt**: …

[11:13PM] **Helen**: Sorry, Neville, had to get it out of my system.

[11:13PM] **Longbutt**: I totally understand, Umbridge is a foul creature.

_[__**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__ has joined the conversation.]_

[11:14PM] **BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I decided yes, Mione.

[11:14PM] **Helen**: Excellent!

_[__**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**RavenclawSeeker**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**ErniePuff**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**CatLover**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**QueenTrixie**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**FieryRedGin**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**GoldenAnthony**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**HannahAbbot**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**ColinCamera**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**DennisCreevey**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**ChasingBell**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**SpiderSpinnet**__ has joined the conversation.]_

_[__**GryffindorCaptain**__ has joined the conversation.]_

[11:15PM] **BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: LOL, the ghosts have been busy.

[11:15PM] **BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Ugh, so sleepy, good night!

_[__**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__ has left the conversation.]_

[11:16PM] **Helen**: Do any of you want to actually learn DADA?

[11:16PM] **ChasingBell**: OMG YES!

[11:17PM] **ErniePuff**: What Umbridge teaches is GARBAGE!

[11:18PM] **RavenclawSeeker**: And she keeps on saying that Cedric's death was 'an unfortunate accident'! I HATE HER!

[11:19PM] **Helen**: If you actually want to learn something, come to the Hog's Head on the next Hogsmeade weekend, at 2PM.

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

MP HERMIONE YOU SAID ONLY A COUPLE PEOPLE!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 47

**Comments**:

**Helen**: As I said before, it was popular.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Grr…

**SeriousSirius**: 0.0 Is Dung telling the truth? You're actually making a DADA group?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Dung?! And yeah, if he was actually there, he's right.

**SeriousSirius**: LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE!

**Frustrated**: SHOW THAT EVIL BUCKETHEAD, HARRY!

**UniversalKing**: Go Harry!

**CatLover**: YEAH!

**QueenTrixie**: Can't wait until the first meeting!

**SeriousSirius**: How many people?!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: About thirty or so.

**SeriousSirius**: That. Is. A. Lot. Of. People.

**Helen**: I sort of told everyone who was on the exclusive blog the teachers made that we were starting a group, then it went uphill from there…

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Ugh, no wonder…

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by __**SeriousSirius**__:_

GO HARRY!

**Likes**:50

**Dislikes**:0

**Follows**:43

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Thanks, Sirius!

**Helen**: Oh no… Harry, you have to see this!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: ANOTHER EDUCATIONAL DEGREE?!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: NOO! YOU'RE JOKING!

**CatLover**: I WISH HE WAS!

**Gin**: NOOOOO!

**QueenTrixie**: Someone told her!

_[__**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__ has signed out.]_

* * *

**GinPlace**

_Posted by __**Gin**__: _

Fluffy Baker

Chapter Three:

When Fluffy Baker got to Pigspots, he was so amazed he almost wee-wee-d right on the boat.

Nuts, being the immature fool he is, actually did wee-wee on the boat.

They got to Pigspots and each tried out the Sorting Cap.

When it was Fluffy's turn, the Cap called out,"Lion!"

When it was Nuts' turn, the Cap had to think about it for a while, but eventually called out, "Lion!"

Nuts, being stupid and all, wee-wee-d and pooped on the floor, to everyone's disgust.

In the twins' (Ugly and Warty) excitement, they also wee-wee-d and pooped, except they pooped diarrhea.

STAY TUNED!

**Likes**: 46

**Dislikes**: 4

**Follows: **46

**Comments:**

**SeriousSirius**: CARL!

**Frustrated**: CARL too!

**UniversalKing**: CARLCARLROFLLOL!

**CatLover**: Ugh, so not cool, Ginny!

**QueenTrixie**: Yeah!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: I did so not wee-wee on the boat!

**Gin**: Whatever you say, Ron, whatever you say.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: ARGH!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I told you so.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: You're enjoying this way too much.

**Gin**: Interestingly, you're not denying that you peed and pooped in front of everyone in the Great Hall.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: AAAAHHHHH!

* * *

**Dung's Store**

_Posted by __**Dung**__:_

Essence of murtlap for five galleons!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 32

**Follows**: 0

**Comments:**

**Helen**: I'll take one for two.

**Dung**: No way, take it or leave it.

**Helen**: Murtlap isn't even worth two, you'd be lucky to sell it for what I'm offering.

**Dung**: Fine.

* * *

**FredTipz**

_Posted by __**CatLover**__:_

The Snackboxes are almost done! Pre-order now!

**Likes**: 49

**Dislikes**: 1

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Ahh… Makes me remember my school days…

**SerpentSnape**: Same, except I don't go into a state of bliss like you do.

**SeriousSirius**: Go away, Snivellus.

**SerpentSnape**: I have better things to do than spar with an idiot like you.

_[__**SerpentSnape**__ has signed out.]_

**SeriousSirius**: Ahh…

* * *

**UmbridgeLoathers Chat Room**

[10:21PM] **Freddy**: The snackboxes are out! Order by owl now!

[10:22PM] **RavenclawSeeker**: What do they do?

[10:22PM] **Freddy**: They make you ill so that you can skip classes. The purple end of the chew will restore you back to health.

[10:23PM] **RavenclawSeeker**: Might be useful. Can I order by blog too?

[10:23PM] **Freddy**: Yeah.

[10:24PM] **RavenclawSeeker**: Just deliver one to my dorm.

[10:25PM] **Freddy**: Alright, done. You should getting it in a few minutes.

[10:25PM] **RavenclawSeeker**: Yay!

* * *

**MorphingNews**

_Posted by __**Frustrated**__:_

For those of you who don't know, here's why the Ministry is trying to stop Hogwarts from learning anything.

Fudge the Stupid thinks that Dumbledore is building an army.

CARL.

**Likes:** 45

**Dislikes: **5

**Follows: **34

**Comments:**

**SeriousSirius: **LOL, already know. I CARLed too.

**Frustrated:** M.O.M. is so stupid

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord: **No. Way. All this is because Fudge is being a selfish dolt?

**Helen: **I can't believe it!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban:** What Harry said!

**QueenTrixie: **Wonder what Dumbledore would say about this.

**AlbusDumbledore:** To answer your question, Mr. Weasley, I think this is fairly amusing, but very infuriating as well.

**QueenTrixie**: I agree, I'm angry but also laughing my head off at how stupid Fudge is being.


	10. Chapter 10

**UmbridgeLoathers Chat Room**

[11:42PM] **GryffindorCaptain**: OMG the meeting was so awesome!

[11:42PM] **ChasingBell**: I agree, we actually learned something.

[11:43PM] **DennisCreevey**: Who knew half of us are horrible at the Disarming Charm?

[11:43PM] **CatLover**: In your face, Smith!

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

Our first meeting was a huge success!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 47

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Let's hope they follow that trend!

**Annoyed**: RON, FRED, GEORGE, AND GINNY WEASLEY! DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO JOIN?

**Serious**: Better expelled than clueless.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Hear, hear!

* * *

**RonaldPost**

_Posted by __**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**__:_

The first meeting was awesome!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 12

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: I guess you and Harry are of the same mind.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Anyone who hates Umbridge are of the same mind as us.

**SeriousSirius**: So everyone except the Slytherins and Umbridge herself?

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Yup.

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by __**SeriousSirius**__:_

I have a challenge for you all! Write a story about Umbridge and how stupid/fat/anything really insulting she is.

Winner gets a Galleon, though I suspect most of you will write for the fun of it.

I will post the Top Three up here, just send it to me and I'll judge etc. etc.

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**CatLover**: Darn right you are.

**QueenTrixie**: Duh, we're writing.

**Gin**: No duh, Sherlock! (Muggle saying :D)

**Helen**: Oh, you're reading 'Sherlock Holmes'? I loved it!

**Gin**: Me too! Holmes is soo clever, he would've been in Ravenclaw if he went to Hogwarts.

**Helen**: Definitely.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: LOL this is going to be fun.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: I am going to relish this opportunity.

**Frustrated**: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

**Moony**: This is going to be fun.

**WiseCat**: I think I'll ask the UmbridgeLoathers to do the same.

**SeriousSirius**: CARL The blog you made for 'select students' is called 'UmbridgeLoathers'? LOL!

**UniversalKing**: Ooh, this is going to be good.

**SerpentSnape**: I think I'll do one too… I am not entering this competition however.

**SeriousSirius**: My heart is bleeding from disappointment.

* * *

**Umbridge is Fat&Stupid Room**

[11:23PM] **WiseCat**: Anyone up?

[11:23PM] **CharmingEagle**: What else am I supposed to do?

[11:24PM] **HerbBadger**: Of course I am!

[11:24PM] **SerpentSnape**: I am up as well, though I suspect I know what you are going to ask or do.

[11:25PM] **WiseCat**: What do you all think of a competition for the UmbridgeLoathers?

[11:26PM] **CharmingEagle**: What kind?

[11:26PM] **WiseCat**: Who can come up with a story that insults Umbridge the most.

[11:27PM] **HerbBadger**: Why are you even asking? Do it!

[11:27PM] **WiseCat**: I thought it seemed polite. In the 1/1,000,000,000,000 odds that you would refuse, I was going to do it anyway.

[11:27PM] **SerpentSnape**: 1/1,000,000,000,000 odds? More like a complete alternate universe.

[11:28PM] **CharmingEagle**: Can't wait to see what the students come up with.

[11:28PM] **WiseCat**: I'm going to be writing one too.

[11:28PM] **HerbBadger**: Aren't we all?

* * *

**UmbridgeLoather Chat Room**

[1:12AM] **WiseCat**: We have decided to have a contest.

[1:12AM] **RavenclawSeeker**: Ooh, what kind?

[1:12AM] **ErniePuff**: Yeah, what kind?

[1:13AM] **WiseCat**: Who can come up with a story that insults Umbridge the most.

[1:13AM] **GryffindorChaser**: I'm in, Professor.

[1:13AM] **ColinCamera**: So am I. And I think it's safe to say that everyone else here is as well.

[1:14AM] **WiseCat**: Excellent. Contest ends next month, same day, at midnight. NOW GO TO SLEEP!

* * *

**OwlPost**

_Posted by __**HarrysOwl**__:_

hi everyone its me.. uh hedwig, right. can anyone teach me how to type other stuff like question mark etc.

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Merlin. Hedwig, you can read/write?

**HarrysOwl**: yeah.

**Helen**: I'll teach you. Wait, they have laptops at the Owlery?

**HarrysOwl**: they have computers. they work because no magic in the owlery.

**Helen**: That would make sense… Sort of. Owls can read and write?

**HarrysOwl**: it wouldnt make sense if post owls couldnt read or write.

**Helen**: That makes sense. Alright, I'm going to the Owlery.

_[__**Helen**__ has signed out.]_

**CatLover**: Wow wow wow.

**Gin**: Anyone else scared and disburbed at the news that our owls can read and write?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I will never look at Hedwig the same way again.

* * *

**OwlPost**

_Posted by __**HarrysOwl**__:_

Hi everyone, it's Hedwig again!

I can finally type properly!

I'm going over to you for an Owl Treat, Harry, I think I deserve one.

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Definitely. I have a couple ready, fly by anytime you want (except classtime, but that's a bit obvious.)

**HarrysOwl**: Alright, thanks again!

**Helen**: Wow, the Owlery has a floor devoted to computers… And they have special owl technicians to fix and update them. Some of them are twenty years old and still work like new! And they have video game consoles like Gameboys ad such. They also have tons of popular games. You owls are tech-savvy.

**HarrysOwl**: What are we supposed to do in our free time? Just stand in our hollows looking proper?

**Helen**: I guess I never thought about it..

**HarrysOwl**: It's OK, we do other stuff too, such as making maps of various addresses our owners don't know. You don't know how long it took me to find Sirius' various locations. He moved like every week!

**Helen**: I guess I never really thought about that too, it just seemed natural for owls to magically find places.

**HarrysOwl**: It's OK.

**HarrysOwl**: Oh no, the shame of all owls has decided to make a blog!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: OMG Pig made a blog! I'm going to go look.

* * *

**Pigwidgeon's Awesome Blog**

_Posted by __**ILOVERON**__!:_

OHMYGOSHHIEVERYONEI'MPIGANDILOVERONWEASLEYHEISSONICEANDFLUFFYANDREDANDNICEANDYELLOWANDSWEETANDAWESOMEANDOOHIT'SABUTTERFLY! YAYBUTTERFLY!

**Likes**: 48

**Dislikes**: 2

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Anyone mind translating that?

**HarrysOwl**: Oh my gosh hi everyone I'm Pig and I love Ron Weasley he is so nice and fluffy and red and nice and yellow and sweet and awesome and ooh it's a butterfly! Yay butterfly! Merlin, I'm so ashamed.

**SeriousSirius**: CARL! And it's OK, Hedwig, all species have their oddballs.

**CatLover**: DFL!

**SeriousSirius**: What does it stand for?

**CatLover**: Died From Laughing. I though CARL was too weak.

**SeriousSirius**: In this case, you are so right.

**Frustrated**: I can see why you don't like him, Hedwig. Doesn't make it any less funny, though! DFL!

**UniversalKing**: I internally DFL… I really need to stop blogging while working, people are giving me strange looks…

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: This is sooo wrong.. I mean, first of all, Pig's an OWL! Then, if we ignore that, second of all, he's MALE anyway! And geez, WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YELLOW COME FROM?! DISLIKE!

**Helen**: LOL.

**ILOVERON**!: OMGIT'SRONILOVEYOURONOMGOMGOMG!

**HarrysOwl**: Translated from Idiot: OMG IT'S RON I LOVE YOU RON OMG OMG OMG!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: DFL twice.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: First Ginny, then my own owl! Except this time, for some creepy reason, I think this is 100% real! WAKE ME UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE! I THINK MY OWL LIKES ME!

_[__**ILOVERON**__! has invited UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban to chat.]_

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: AHH! NOOO!

* * *

**A/N: I was laughing so hard while writing this chapter... LOL, anyway, please review!**

**Yes, I'm begging for reviews now. No, I am not ashamed.**

**And yeah, this is sort of a hinted one-sided Pig/Ron, but don't worry, nothing inappropriate, just Pig repeatedly declaring his love for Ron, and Ron getting seriously creeped out. I think I don't have to change the rating, I don't know...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Phoenix Chat Room**

[10:21PM] **ILOVERONSOMUCH!:** OMGHIRONILOVEYOUSOMUCHGOOUTWITHMEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!

[10:21PM] **Ron**: OMG SOMEONE SAVE ME!

_[__**Hedwig**__ has joined the conversation.]_

[10:21PM] **Hedwig**: I'll translate. Let's see… OMG HI RON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GO OUT WITH ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

[10:22PM] **Ron**: MERLIN NOW I'M EVEN MORE CREEPED OUT! HELP!

* * *

Everyone in the Owlery laughed.

Hermione gave Harry a worried look. "Shouldn't we help him?"

Harry smirked. "Nah, I want to see what happens."

Fred and George grinned. "Good choice, Harry," applauded George.

"A true son of a Marauder," sniffed Fred.

* * *

**OwlPost**

_Posted by __**HarrysOwl**__:_

I would just like to give you all a message from the most of the owls in the Owlery (basically everyone except for Pig):

WE ARE ALL NOTHING LIKE THAT FLUFFY BALL THAT DARES CALL HIMSELF AN OWL!

Thank you.

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Anyone else think that the blog has gotten ten times more interesting with the owls blogging as well?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I think it's a change for the better, Hedwig and I are much closer now that we can communicate.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: My relationship with Pig just got worse…

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: DFL!

**UmbridgeDeserveAzkaban**: You guys are all merciless and have no soul.

**Gin**: Whatever you say, Ron, whatever you say.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: He stalks me! I see him everywhere! Literally! Like, today in Potions, I was about to pour water into my cauldron and start, but Pig flew out of the cauldron and started… doing something that looked like pecking, but he was licking me!

**Helen**: Ron, I think he was kissing you.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: OMG!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I could never forget your and Snape's expressions when

Pig rose out of the cauldron, I CARLed.

* * *

**RonaldPost**

_Posted by __**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**__:_

Selling a minute owl for only a Sickle! Great deal, seize your chance and get the owl of your dreams!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 50

**Follows**: 0

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: You aren't getting out of it that easily, Ron.

**CatLover**: Yeah, it would break Pig's heart if he was separated from his love.

**QueenTrixie**: Yeah, think about poor Pig!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: More like 'think about our entertainment', George.

**QueenTrixie**: How did you know I was George?!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Where did all those cockroaches come from?

**QueenTrixie**: …. THAT WAS YOU?! But I've been blaming Fred all this time!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: What, you thought I was too stupid to pull it off?

**QueenTrixie**: Duh.

_[__**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**__ has signed off.]_

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

NOOOOO! THE EVIL HAG HAS BANNED ME FROM QUIDDITCH FOREVER!

AND GEORGE AND FRED! AND MALFOY WAS PROVOKING US, BUT HE DIDN'T GET ANY PUNISHMENT!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 50

**Follows**: 34

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: NO WAY! YOU'RE JOKING!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Wait, WHAT?! NO!

**CatLover**: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HE ISN'T!

**QueenTrixie**: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Frustrated**: THAT EVIL-!

**Moony**: …

**UniversalKing**: And to think I have to work with her….

**Gin**: I feel so bad for you, Kingsley.

**UniversalKing**: I know. *Wallows in pit of self-pity*.

**Helen**: I bet I can think of one thing to cheer you up.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Nothing can cheer me up, Hermione.

**Helen**: Oh yeah? Hagrid's back.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Scratch that.

_[__**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__ has signed out.]_

_[__**Helen**__ has signed out.]_

_[__**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**__ has signed out.]_

* * *

**Pigwidgeon's Awesome Blog**

_Posted by __**ILOVERON**__**!**:_

NOOO!RONISSADVERYSAD!MYLOVEISVERYSAD!NOOO!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 2

**Follows**: 21

**Comments**:

**HarrysOwl**: Translation from Idiot: NOOO! RON IS SAD VERY SAD! MY LOVE IS VERY SAD! NOOO!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Yeah, I'm really sad, so leave me alone.

**ILOVERON!**: MAYBEADATE?!

**HarrysOwl**: MAYBE A DATE?!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: No.

* * *

**HermioneFacts**

_Posted by __**Helen**__:_

I'm so worried for Hagrid! Umbridge is going to sack him if he doesn't stick to Grubbly-Plank's plan! Umbridge hates half-humans!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 50

**Follows**: 45

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Umbridge is going to sack him at first chance!

**Frustrated**: Oh no, Hagrid, don't do anything stupid!

**SeriousSirius**: Knowing Hagrid, you'll probably be studying thestrals or dragons.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Uh oh… I just saw Hagrid go into the Forbidden Forest.

**Helen**: Hagrid said something about chimaeras.

**CatLover**: Uh oh.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Uh oh.

**Gin**: Uh oh.

**QueenTrixie**: Uh oh.

* * *

**HermioneFacts**

_Posted by __**Helen**__:_

I HATE UMBRIDGE!

SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE OUT HAGRID AS SOME DIMWITTED TROLL!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 50

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: That's it, I'm going to go strangle her.

**Helen**: You were half right, Sirius, we learned about thestrals.

**SeriousSirius**: Hogwarts thestrals aren't that dangerous, I think Hagrid's got them trained.

**Helen**: Hagrid has, but Umbridge had to ruin a perfectly good lesson….

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Once again, I hate her.

**SeriousSirius**: Join the club again.

**Moony**: What did Umbridge say?

**Helen**: "Has to resort to crude sign language" "Appears to have short term memory" and "Shows signs of pleasure at the idea of violence" etc. etc.

**Moony**: Ouch.

**SeriousSirius**: If I weren't stuck here, she'd be dead by now.

**Moony**: And you'd be back in Azkaban.

**SeriousSirius**: It'd be worth it.

**Moony**: True.

**Gin**: I'm just as furious as all of you, but on the semi-bright side, Pig has a new post.

* * *

**Pigwidgeon's Awesome Blog**

_Posted by **ILOVERON!**:_

ILOVERON!OMGIT'SAPRETTYBUTTERFLYHIBUTTERFLYILOVEYOUTOOBUTMYHEARTBELONGSTORON!ILOVEMYRONNIEKINS!

**Likes**: 48

**Dislikes**: 2

**Follows**: 48

**Comments**:

**HarrysOwl**: I LOVE RON! OMG IT'S A PRETTY BUTTERFLY HI BUTTERFLY I LOVE YOU TOO BUT MY HEART BELONGS TO RON! I LOVE MY RONNIEKINS!

**CatLover**: Ooh, Ronniekins.

**QueenTrixie**: I think you have some dirt on your nose, Ronniekins.

**SeriousSirius**: CARL!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Shut up you all.

* * *

**OwlPost**

_Posted by **HarrysOwl**:_

Once again, we proper owls in the Owlery are ashamed of the fluff-ball idiot.

Thank you.

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**ILOVERON!**: WHATFLUFFBALLIDIOT?OOHISITJESS?ORECLIPSE?

**HarrysOwl**: WHAT FLUFFBALL IDIOT? OOH IS IT JEE? OR ECLIPSE? No, it's you.

**ILOVERON!**: COOKIES!

**SeriousSirius**: LOL!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Could you guys hide me or something? Pig showed up in Charms, and kissed me again... It's so creepy!

**HarrysOwl**: We had a conference about, and unfortunately must say no. We do not have the food to sustain you.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: I can eat what you eat!

**HarrysOwl**: We eat mice.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Ok, scratch that. I'll stay here.

* * *

**A/N: Please review! Pig will be happy!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord:_

Arthur Weasley got attacked… OMG…. I'm freaking out….

**Likes: 0**

**Dislikes: 0**

**Follows: 50**

**Comments: **

**SeriousSirius**: It's OK, Harry, St. Mungo's will save him.

**HarrysOwl**: It's OK, Harry, calm down.

* * *

**GinPlace**

_Posted by __**Gin**__:_

OMG DAD GOT ATTACKED!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 47

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: They'll save him, Ginny.

**Gin**: I hope so.

* * *

**RonaldPost**

_Posted by __**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**__:_

My life sucks.

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 12

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: You could be a convict stuck in the place you hate the most.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: True.

* * *

**FredTipz**

_Posted by __**CatLover**__:_

DAD MADE IT! I KNEW HE COULD DO IT!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: GO ARTHUR!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: YAY!

**Frustrated**: WOO! Knew he would pull through!

**UniversalKing**: I knew it! Arthur would never die on his family!

**Gin**: WOO HOO!

**QueenTrixie**: WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY EUPHORIA!

**HarrysOwl**: I told you! I told you!

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

We're going to St. Mungo's to see Mr. Weasley! I'm so happy!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Tell him hi for me!

**Gin**: Going, going, gone!

**Frustrated**: Hooray! Oh yeah, we're going with you.

**DarkCatcher**: Along with me!

**Frustrated**: Yeah… And him…

**DarkCatcher**: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!

**Frustrated**: … Nothing…

**UniversalKing**: Arthur is a tough cookie. Knew it.

**ILOVERON!:** ILOVECOOKIES!IWANNAEATCOOKIE!WHERE'STHECOOKIE?BUTTERFLY!

* * *

**RonaldPost**

_Posted by __**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**__:_

This is so weird. My owl likes me in THAT WAY and wants to eat my dad.

**Likes**: 43

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 42

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: ROFL.

**Frustrated**: Funny owl you've got there, Ron.

**DarkCatcher**: Yes, a bit TOO FUNNY! WHAT IF THE OWL'S A DEATH EATER, HUH?

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Can you block people?

**Frustrated**: If you could, Moody would be blocked from every blog except for his by now.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Moody has advice… Woah, it actually looks popular!

**Frustrated**: *GASP* NO WAY!

**Frustrated**: Going to go look.

* * *

**Moody's Advice**

_Posted by __**DarkCatcher**__:_

BE WARY OF ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN A DEATH EATER/SUSPECTED OF BEING ONE!

**Likes**: 47

**Dislikes**: 2

**Follows**: 47

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Hear, hear!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Yeah!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Poisonous toadstools don't change their spots!

**AlbusDumbledore**: I trust Severus. Please do not question this trust.

**SerpentSnape**: I am NOT working for the Dark Lord.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I thought only Voldemort's servants called him that.

**SerpentSnape**: Do not say His name here, Potter!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Capital 'H'? Hmmm…

_[__**SerpentSnape**__ has signed out.]_

**Helen**: I trust Professor Dumbledore. Disliking.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Party pooper.

**Frustrated**: You know, I'm surprised Moody actually managed to get a like at all!

**CatLover**: I am too, but this time, I agree with Moody.

**QueenTrixie**: Aye, Captain Freddy.

**CatLover**: Aye, Captain George.

* * *

**Pigwidgeon's Awesome Blog**

_Posted by __**ILOVERON!:**_

ILOVERONSOMUCHANDHEISSOCOOL!OMGYESTERDAYRONNIEKINSSAIDTOME,"GOAWAYYOU*****(1)"IAMSOHAPPYHEISTALKINGTOME!ILOVEHIM!

**Likes**: 48

**Dislikes**: 2

**Comments**:

**HarrysOwl**: Translation: I LOVE RON SO MUCH AND HE IS SO COOL! OMG YESTERDAY RONNIEKINS SAID TO ME,"GO AWAY YOU ******" I AM SO HAPPY HE IS TALKING TO ME! I LOVE HIM!

**Gin**: Anyone else really disturbed that an owl has a romantic interest in Ron?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I second that.

**SeriousSirius**: DFL Ron, you actually said that?

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: That was like a year ago… I am so creeped out that he still remembers…

**CatLover**: DFL…

**ILOVERON!:** OMGRONNIEKINSCOMMENTEDONMYBLOGIAMSOHAPPYHAPPYHAPPY!

**HarrysOwl**: OMG RONNIEKINS COMMENTED ON MY BLOG I AM SO HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: How do you block people again?

**HarrysOwl**: You can't.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Darn.

* * *

**A/N: (1) I am not implying that a certain cuss word is in its place, it's just a random amount of star-thingies. (or multiplication signs, whichever you prefer.)**

**Ugh, this chapter wasn't as fun to write as the others, but oh well.**

**Review review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**RonaldPost**

_Posted by __**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**__:_

ROFL So like Dad to get stitches…

"It sounds like you've been trying to sew your skin back together, but even you, Arthur, wouldn't be that stupid." -Mum

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA?!"-Mum

**Likes**: 42

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 32

**Comments:**

**SeriousSirius**: ROFL!

**Helen**: Stitches actually work pretty nice on non-magical wounds…

**CatLover**: Seriously?!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: We had to make a way to seal wounds. I mean, we couldn't have people dying from a cut or something, could we?

**QueenTrixie**: I guess…

**Helen**: Stitches have saved countless lives. I suppose in this case, there was some kind of venom in Nagini's fangs that stopped the bite from healing.

**CatLover**: They'll find a way.

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

We met Lockhart the Idiot at St. Mungo's. I might've felt more sympathy if he hadn't tried to Obliviate us.

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 42

**Comments**:

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: . I so agree with you.

**SeriousSirius**: Oh, are you talking about Gilderoy Lockhart?

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Who else?

**Moony**: Oh, I remember him. Wasn't he that arrogant, pompous Ravenclaw everyone hated?

**SeriousSirius**: Yup. The Ravenclaws all claimed that they were 'thoroughly ashamed that an IDIOT like him ended up our House! It's those kind of people who tarnish our reputation!'

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I'm surprised that the Sorting Hat didn't say "I HAVE NO HOUSE FOR HIM!"

**SeriousSirius**: I agree. I mean, that guy is so bad that he would've given Slytherin a bad reputation.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I thought they already had a bad reputation.

**SeriousSirius**: Exactly.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: LOL.

* * *

**Pigwidgeon's Awesome Blog**

_Posted by __**ILOVERON!:**_

DIDIMENTIONTHATILOVERONHEISSOAWESOMEILOVEHIMSOMUCHOOHIT'STHATBUTTERFLYAGAINHIBUTTERFLYILOVEYOUBUTMYHEARTBELONGSTORON!

**Likes**: 48

**Dislikes**: 2

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Oh, Hedwig! A bit late this time…

**HarrysOwl**: Sorry, was out delivering Harry's mail. Uh, let's see… DID I MENTION THAT I LOVE RON HE IS SO AWESOME I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OOH IT'S THAT BUTTERFLY AGAIN HI BUTTERFLY I LOVE YOU BUT MY HEART BELONGS TO RON! Infatuation much?

**SeriousSirius**: DFL. I feel sorry for you and Ron.

**HarrysOwl**: Don't forget pretty much every owl in existence. And the dead ones. They must be turning in their graves.

**SeriousSirius**: I feel sorry for his parents too…

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: I'm scared….

**ILOVERON!:** ILOVEYOUDATE?

**HarrysOwl**: I LOVE YOU DATE?

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Er.. No…

**ILOVERON**!: OMGHEHESITATEDTHISTIMEHEMUSTLIKEME!

**HarrysOwl**: OMG HE HESITATED THIS TIME HE MUST LIKE ME!

**SeriousSirius**: He's worse than James…

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: ?

**SeriousSirius**: James was infatuated with Lily. Lily refused him for six years. James finally got Lily in seventh year and married her and had Harry.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Thanks a lot, Sirius.

**SeriousSirius**: Oops… Sorry…

**ILOVERON!:** I'MGONNAMARRYRONYAYANDHAVE*****!

**HarrysOwl**: I censored the last part so that you guys wouldn't be mentally scarred for life. I'M GONNA MARRY RON YAY AND HAVE ******!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Why won't Dumbledore just let us ban people?

**HarrysOwl**: People? I thought Pigwidgeon was an owl? Unfortunately.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: And owls.

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__: _

I HAVE TO DO EXTRA LESSONS WITH SNAPE!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 50

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: What did you do to deserve that?

**CatLover**: Your life sucks, dude. (Muggle word I found on the.. fish-net thing.)

**Helen**: The Internet, Fred.

**CatLover**: Yeah, whatever.

**SeriousSirius**: …

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: My. Life. Is. Over.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: R.I.P., mate.

**SerpentSnape**: I am going to kill Dumbledore.

**SeriousSirius**: Good luck with that, Snape.

_[__**SerpentSnape**__ has signed out.]_

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Was that a CIVIL conversation between Snape and Sirius?

**SeriousSirius**: Not really, but the most civil we've ever had.

**Helen**: I wish you would all make more of an effort to accept Professor Snape.

**SeriousSirius**: You aren't serious.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Hopeless, that one.

* * *

**A Potion Master's Records**

_Posted by __**SerpentSnape**__:_

I hate you, Dumbledore.

**Likes**: 21

**Dislikes**: 21

**Follows**: 46

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: I agree.

**QueenTrixie**: The world has flipped over.

**CatLover**: Harry and Snape have… agreed.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Wow…

* * *

**UmbridgeLoathers Chat Room**

[11:21PM] **WiseCat**: Here is the winning story by RavenclawSeeker!:

Once upon a time, there was a fat toady named Umbridge. Umbridge was so fat that she could barely move. Umbridge was also very stupid. Harry Potter stood up against Umbridge, but before he could do anything, Umbridge went to Azkaban because of her stupidity and because she was suffocating Hogwarts with her fat.

[11:25PM] **ErniePuff**: Nice story, Chang!

[11:25PM] **CatLover**: ROFL!

[11:25PM] **BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: So funny... I don't think I'll be able to see Umbridge without laughing!

[11:25PM] **ChasingBell**: Hilarious!

[11:25PM] **FieryRedGin**: Awesome!

[11:25PM] **GoldenAnthony**: I hope that actually happens... the Azkaban part, not the suffocating part!

[11:25PM] **HannahAbbot**: I won't be able to look at Umbridge properly now!

[11:25PM] **ColinCamera**: LOL!

[11:25PM] **DennisCreevey**: I agree with Colin!

[11:25PM] **SpiderSpinnet**: Gryffindor shall get revenge, Umbridge!

[11:25PM] **QueenTrixie**: This is hilarious!

[11:25PM] **UmbridgeDeserveAzkaban**: Hee hee...

[11:25PM] **Helen**: Go Cho!

[11:25PM] **GryffindorCaptain**: It's these kinds of things that give me the inspiration to keep on going.

[11:26PM] **RavenclawSeeker**: Thank you, everyone!

* * *

**Most Popular Blogs:**

1. Harry's Blog

2. Pigwidgeon's Awesome Blog

3. OwlPost

**Most Viewed Blogs:**

1. Harry's Blog

2. Sirius' Comments

3. Pigwidgeon's Awesome Blog

* * *

**A/N: Review review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Disclaimer AGAIN: I do not own HP. This is valid for the whole fic (fiction-doesn't-look-like-a-blog-but-it-is-thing.)**

**Excuses for not updating for so long:**

**Official Excuse: I am a busy person. No time at all!**

**Actual Reason: I forgot. Kill me now :(**

**Fake Excuse: I was kidnapped by a.. bunch of cats?**

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

I had a date with Cho Chang today. We went to Madame Puddifoot's, but she got angry at me when I said I had a meeting with Hermione. :(

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 50

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: First of all, you got a date! Finally! Second of all, you went to the Hole of Mushiness and Doom? Third of all, her loss.

**Helen**: Boys are soo inconsiderate.

**CatLover**: I went to Puddifoot's once… I never recovered.

**QueenTrixie**: I swear I was mentally scarred for life.

**Frustrated**: I went there with one of my boyfriends once… OMG I broke up with him when I found out that he loved that place.

**Moony**: … I went there once because James wanted to stalk Lily in fourth year… Anything is preferable to that… place.

**UniversalKing**: I went there with on a date once. The Ministry should close down that place or something, it's a hazard to your health.

**SeriousSirius**: Why was Lily even in there?

**Moony**: One of her many boyfriends.

**SeriousSirius**: Did Prongs scare him off, too?

**Moony**: He scared off every potential suitor, Sirius.

**SeriousSirius**: Poor guys.

**Moony**: Lily was furious. I wanted to die.

**SeriousSirius**: You almost did.

**Moony**: While I was ALMOST DYING a CERTAIN coward named Sirius Black was hiding under the couch, whimpering.

**SeriousSirius**: Men don't whimper!

**Moony**: Who said you were a man?

**SeriousSirius**: Hey! Besides, I'm a GRYFFINDOR! Gryffindors don't whimper! Or hide!

**Moony**: *cough* Peter *cough*

**SeriousSirius**: Low blow, Remus, low blow.

* * *

**Sirius' Comments**

_Posted by __**SeriousSirius**__:_

Anyone who hates Madame Puddifoot's like!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 35

**Comments**:

**Frustrated**: Like like like…

**CatLover**: Uh, NO DUH SHERLICK! (Learned it from Ginny :))

**Gin**: It's SHERLOCK not SHERLICK, stupid.

**CatLover**: I don't care!

**UniversalKing**: Only in a COMPLETE alternate universe I would like Madame Puddifoot's.

**Moony**: Uh, duh, we all hate Puddifoot's?

* * *

**Pigwidgeon's Awesome Blog**

_Posted by __**ILOVERON!:**_

OMGMYBLOGISINTHETOPTHREEMOSTVIEWEDANDPOPULAR!ILOVEYOURONNIEKINS!ANDYOU,BUTTERFLY!

**Likes**: 48

**Dislikes**: 2

**Follows**: 42

**Comments**:

**HarrysOwl**: OMG MY BLOG IS IN THE TOP THREE MOST VIEWED AND POPULAR! I LOVE YOU RONNIEKINS! AND YOU, BUTTERFLY!

**SeriousSirius**: Should I tell him why it's so popular and crush his spirits?

**HarrysOwl**: YES!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: YES!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Nah, it's funny.

**CatLover**: I agree with Harry.

**QueenTrixie**: Me too!

**Frustrated**: Me three!

**UniversalKing**: Me four!

**SeriousSirius**: Sorry, overruled.

**HarrysOwl**: Beak is sharp… Very sharp…

**SeriousSirius**: Owl is delicious.

**HarrysOwl**: Hmph.

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

_Posted by __**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**__:_

OMG get the 'Quibbler' now!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**Moony**: Just got one… Wow, nice way to show Gryffindor courage!

**SeriousSirius**: OMG What did he do, Moony?

**Moony**: He gave an interview… Wow, Umbridge is going to kill you..

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Umbridge is stupid.

**SeriousSirius**: MOONY GIVE ME THE QUIBBLER NOW OR ELSE!

**SeriousSirius**: Nice, Harry!

**Frustrated**: Ooh, nice interview, Harry!

**UniversalKing**: This one's going to sell fast.

**WiseCat**: Good job, Potter! Ten points to Gryffindor!

**SeriousSirius**: Only ten?

**WiseCat**: Educational degree. The points shouldn't look too suspicious.

**Helen**: At least Skeeter was accurate this time.

**Frustrated**:…. SKEETER?

**SeriousSirius**: RITA Skeeter?

**Moony**: Skeeter the Stupid and Slanderous?

**Helen**: Yes.

**UniversalKing**: How-How-How….

**Frustrated**: I think that's what we're all wondering.

**Helen**: Let's just say that I am very persuasive…

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: *cough* blackmail *cough*

**CatLover**: Ooh, blackmailing Skeeter, are we?

**QueenTrixie**: I like it.

**Frustrated**: Aye.

**Gin**: Aye.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Aye! Oh yeah, Chloe apologized to me today! I think our relationship is safe!

**Gin**: … Good for you!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Yay!

**Helen**: … Boys.

* * *

**catzareawesome**

_Posted by __**Croocshancs**__:_

helo mi nam iz croocshancs i an hermines cat ratz ar yumy

**Likes**: 46

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**Helen**: OM OM OM…

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDark**: I'm guessing that cats aren't as educated as owls in terms of spelling and grammar?

**HarrysOwl**: That would actually be because cat aren't required to read in order to do their jobs. Though, I personally think that the lack of capitalization is because cats don't have fingers of talons like we do.

**SeriousSirius**: Wow…

**Moony**: This definitely proves that we under-estimate our fellow animals.

**Frustrated**: Definitely. I mean, I can see why owls can and have to read and write, but cats?

**Croocshancs**: i lernd how to reed and rite frm hermines 'esays' it taks so long too tipe how doo u al doo et

**Helen**: Oh Crookshanks, you're so clever! I think we'll have to make a whole new more paw-friendly keyboard.

**Croocshancs**: ok thx hermine.

* * *

**CatsAreAwesome**

_Posted by __**Crookshanks**__:_

Hi everyone, it's Crookshanks! Hermiones taught me basic grammar and spelling, also made me a keyboard for me! Thanks Hermione!

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**HarrysOwl**: Great job, Crookshanks!

**ILOVERON!:** YAYFORCROOKSHANKS!

**Helen**: No need to thank me, Crookshanks!

**CatLover**: I agree! Cats are awesome!

**Crookshanks**: I appreciate your username, red-head-whose-name-I-don't-know.

**QueenTrixie**:... How did you know that he had red hair? Actually, how did you know who he even was?

**Crookshanks**: He HAD red hair? What happened to it? And 'how did I know who he even WAS'? Is he an Inferi or something?

**QueenTrixie**: Never mind.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Ooh, OWNED by a CAT!

**CatLover**: Shut up, Ronniekins.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Hmph... Anyway... Wow.. Next thing you know, Buckbeak will be making a blog.

**SeriousSirius**: Yay, more bloggers! Also, I think Buckbeak has made a blog.

**Crookshanks**: He just made one. He wanted one too, so I sent him a spare keyboard Hermione made just in case.

**Helen**: My Crookshanks is so generous and kind and clever!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: We definitely under-estimate animals.

* * *

**BuckbeakBlog**

_Posted by __**Buckbeak**__:_

I can read and write, so SHUT UP!

I wish I had something else to eat. Rats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**Hagrid**: BEAKY!

**SerpentSnape**: What is the gamekeeper doing here?!

**SeriousSirius**: He's part of the Order, you idiot.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Wow…

**CatLover**: In extreme awe right now..

**QueenTrixie**: Ditto.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Do we have any other animals?

**Helen**: Does Fluffy know how to write?

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: NOOO!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Calm down, Fluffy hasn't made a blog… Yet.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: I'm soo comforted.

**SeriousSirius**: Sorry Buckbeak, don't have anything else for you.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: What about a nice Slytherin first year? Bit stringy, but I heard they're very tasty.

**Buckbeak**: Humans are disgusting. Way too salty.

**SeriousSirius**: You've eaten people before?!

**Buckbeak**: No comment.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: *vomit* Seriously, just went to the bathroom.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Ew, Ron, we share bathrooms!

**Helen**: I feel thankful that I'm female. I don't have to share a dorm with you two. Ugh, vomit in the toilet.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Sink, actually; I think some got on the faucet as well.

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: That's it, I'm moving to Ravenclaw or something.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:**

**(This is mostly for my benefit as I forgot some of the usernames/blog names.)**

**(So sorry for not updating for so long, I'm on a trip in Europe. Don't expect any updates any soon. Don't worry, I won't be abandoning this!)**

**UPDATED List of blogs:**

**Harry Potter- Harry's Blog**

**Alastor Moody- Moody's Advice**

**Sirius Black- Sirius' Comments**

**Nymphadora Tonks- MorphingNews**

**Albus Dumbledore- DumbledoreNews**

**Fred Weasley- FredTipz**

**Ginny Weasley- GinPlace**

**Minerva McGonagall- McGonagallReminder**

**Remus Lupin- MoonSpot**

**Hermione Granger- HermioneFacts**

**Ron Weasley- RonaldPost**

**Pigwidgeon- Pigwidgeon's Awesome Blog**

**Severus Snape- A Potion Master's Records**

**Hedwig- OwlPost**

**Crookshanks- CatsAreAwesome**

**Buckbeak- BuckbeakBlog**

* * *

**UPDATED List of bloggers:**

**Harry Potter- BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**

**Alastor Moody- DarkCatcher**

**Sirius Black: SeriousSirius**

**Nymphadora Tonks- Frustrated**

**Albus Dumbledore- AlbusDumbledore**

**Fred Weasley- CatLover**

**George Weasley- QueenTrixie**

**Molly Weasley- Annoyed**

**Ron Weasley- Transfiguration/UmbridgeHater/UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**

**Hermione Granger- Helen**

**Remus Lupin- Moony**

**Minerva McGonagall- WiseCat**

**Severus Snape- SerpentSnape**

**Kingsley Shacklebolt- UniversalKing**

**Pigwidgeon- ILOVERON!**

**Hedwig- HarrysOwl**

**Crookshanks- Crookshanks**

**Buckbeak- Buckbeak**

**Hagrid- Hagrid**

* * *

**DumbledoreNews**

**_Posted by AlbusDumbledore:_**

I have fixed the 'Comments' section so that it doesn't look like a chat room.

Basically, you will no longer be seeing '[USERNAME has signed out.]' when a person leaves the comments section by logging out.

**Likes**: 31

**Dislikes**: 12

**Follows**: 47

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: Hmm, I guess it's an okay update... I'm not sure if it's good or bad, it's pretty amusing to see [CatLover has signed out.] after Molly yells at him.

**CatLover**: Cruel, Black, cruel.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: I don't blame Fred, Mum is downright TERRIFYING when she yells, even online!

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Sorry, Ron, Fred, I kind of agree with Sirius.

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: BETRAYAL! D:

**WiseCat**: What a relief! Maybe now people won't use the comments section as a chat room?

**WiseCat**: Never mind. I've just read the previous comments.

**SeriousSirius**: Why use the chat room when you can chat with others in the comments section?

**WiseCat**: The conversations are more private?

**SeriousSirius**: It's fun to tease others publicly.

**WiseCat**: Still an annoying idiot, aren't you? I swear you haven't changed since first year. Unlike Remus.

**Moony**: Hi!

**SeriousSirius**: Which is why Remus is no fun at all. I'd rather have James, no offense Remus...

**Moony**: No offense taken.

**WiseCat**: Grr...

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

**_Posted by BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord:_**

Ugh, just had my brain mentally RIPPED OPEN by Snape.

Did I mention that I currently hate Dumbledore?

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**SerpentSnape**: I agree.

**CatLover**: Have we already established that the world has flipped over?

**SeriousSirius**: Yup. Anyways, jeez, why SNAPE of all people?

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: I feel for you, mate.

**Helen**: It's for your own good, Harry.

**HarrysOwl**: Should I attack him for you?

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: Tempting, but no. I'd get in too much trouble.

**DarkCatcher**: CONSTANT VIGILANCE, POTTER! SNAPE MIGHT BE A DEATH EATER IN DISGUISE!

**SerpentSnape**: Technically, I AM a Death Eater in disguise, you idiot.

**DarkCatcher**: I KNEW IT!

**SerpentSnape**: I am technically a Death Eater since I am branded with the Dark Mark, and am in disguise as I have to spy for the Order.

**DarkCatcher**:... I'll get you SOMEDAY, Snape!

* * *

**FredTipz**

**_Posted by CatLover:_**

All Members of the UmbridgeLoathers Chat Room:

George and I are giving out FREE Snackboxes! Just go to the UmbridgeLoathers Chat Room and pledge that you'll use them to get rid of Umbridge.

Exclusive offer ends next week! Order now! (Free shipping!)

**Likes**: 50

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord**: WOO! The Umbridge Loathers are going to love this!

**UmbridgeDeservesAzkaban**: Hooray!

**SeriousSirius**: :( I'm so jealous...

**QueenTrixie**: Sorry, Sirius, exclusive offer. For Umbridge Loathers only. Not that you don't loath Umbridge, just that you're not in the club (school age only). You can't use them on Umbridge anyways, even if you did get one.

**SeriousSirius**: :(...

**Helen**: ... I don't know if I approve or disapprove...

**CatLover**: Lighten up, Hermione, she deserves worse.

**Frustrated**: Merlin, I'm so jealous of you guys...

**UniversalKing**: I'd love to slip her a Puking Pastille (your Snackboxes are becoming famous)

**CatLover**: Yay :)!

**WiseCat**: Pretending I didn't see this... On the other hand, I'll be tailing Umbridge every chance I get.

* * *

**UmbridgeLoathers Chat Room**

[2:36AM] **Fred**: Oi, everyone, free Snackboxes, just send your owl and pledge that you'll use them against Umbridge.

[2:37AM] **RavenclawSeeker**: Why are you even asking? Of course we do!

[2:37AM] **GryffindorCaptain**: What Cho said.

[2:38AM] **ColinCamera**: Ditto

[2:39AM] **DennisCreevey**: I think I speak for all of us when I say that we pledge to use them on Umbridge.

[2:40AM] **George**: Excellent!

* * *

**Umbridge Is Fat And Stupid Room**

[3:21AM] **WiseCat**: Have you heard?

[3:21AM] **HerbBadger**: That the Weasleys are giving away free 'Snackboxes', candy that gives you various illnesses? Yes.

[3:22AM] **CharmingEagle**: I heard that they're making people pledge to use them on Umbridge before giving one.

[3:22AM] **SerpentSnape**: For the first time, I can't wait to see Umbridge.

[3:23AM] **WiseCat**: This is going to be great.

* * *

**Harry's Blog**

**_Posted by BoyWhoAnnoyedDarkLord:_**

SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM SNAPE!

**Likes**: 0

**Dislikes**: 0

**Follows**: 50

**Comments**:

**SeriousSirius**: That's it, I'm going to murder Snape. For real this time.

**SerpentSnape**: Not that you haven't come close, Black.

**Moony**: Now, now, let's all try to be civilized towards one another.

**SeriousSirius**: ...

**SerpentSnape**: The werewolf has gone insane.

**Moony**: Fine, at least try not to kill each other.

**SeriousSirius**: My friend has finally gone off the deep end.

**Moony**: I HAVE NOW!


End file.
